Rocket League: Lossie Phantoms are back for Week 4 — Four Matches, Zero Mercy, and the Courage to Keep Respawning

Report by: Dean Bowditch

By now, the phrase “it can’t get worse” has been redacted from all pre-match huddles at the Lossie Phantoms Esports Arena @ Barrel & Bean. Not because it isn’t true — but because, like a cursed prophecy, it keeps proving itself wrong in new and innovative ways.

With AS1(T) Ryan Beesla donning the captain’s mantle once again, AS1 Anthony Kariuki fearlessly anchoring the midfield chaos, and newcomer AS1 Patrick ‘Paddy’ Dixon (@Padsterr) making his Phantom debut (with all the wide-eyed optimism of a man who hadn’t seen Week 2), the squad dove headlong into a week that could generously be described as “emotionally taxing.”

✈️ Sparrowhawks 2 – 0 Lossie Phantoms (9-1, 5-1)

It started how these things often do — with optimism, followed swiftly by the gaming equivalent of an unsupervised bonfire. A 9-1 battering in leg one, followed by a modest 5-1 loss in leg two. Highlights included a single Phantom goal and several noble attempts to play defence without actually finding the ball.

⚙️ OMNIA 2 – 0 Lossie Phantoms (4-2, 5-0)

OMNIA, Latin for “everything,” proceeded to throw just that at Lossie. A spirited 4-2 effort in game one teased the possibility of an upset. Game two erased that idea with a ruthless 5-0 display — and Paddy’s controller may or may not still be cooling down from the save attempts.

🐋 Whale Done! 2 – 0 Lossie Phantoms (2-0, 7-1)

No, not a pun. A statement. Whale Done! served sushi-grade destruction, with goals rained in from angles usually reserved for geometry textbooks. The Phantoms managed a single goal in leg two, which was celebrated like a tax rebate — surprising, small, but absolutely worth shouting about.

🐔 Los Pollos Hermanos 2 – 1 Lossie Phantoms (1-2, 2-0, 4-3)

And here it was: hope. The Phantoms snatched game one 2-1 with real swagger — Paddy slotted in beautifully, Ryan was reading plays like a bedtime story, and Anthony had his foot on the gas. But the last two games told a familiar tale: valiant, close, and ultimately, so very Lossie.

🧠 Meanwhile, off the pitch...

Despite the repeated Rocket League roughhousing, despite a scoreboard that now needs therapy, and despite playing like all their boost had been siphoned by a passing UGV scout drone…

The Lossie Phantoms are still here – running on fumes, stubbornness, and just enough team spirit to make you believe this might be the night. (It wasn’t.)

Week 5 beckons. The wheels may be off, the goals may be leaking, but somehow — somehow — they’re still queuing for more ranked.

👻 The Mighty Phantoms

🛡️ AS1(T) Ryan Beesla (@beeslaryan)
🛡️ AS1 Patrick Dixon (@Padsterr)
🛡️ AS1(T) Anthony Kariuki (@Karis808)