Rocket League: Lossie Phantoms return for Week 5 — Cherry Saves Titanic, But Phantoms Still Sink

Report by: Dean Bowditch

At this point, it would be quicker to list the teams the Lossie Phantoms haven’t lost to, but where’s the fun in that?

In Week 5 of the BFBS Pro League 2025, the Phantoms returned with a new twist on the old favourite: competitive calamity with occasional sparks of genius. This week’s roster featured the stalwart duo of AS1(T) Ryan Beesla and AS1(T) Anthony Kariuki, joined by debutant Flying Officer Alexander Cherry — who turned heads, dropped jaws, and very nearly salvaged national pride with one save that’s already being discussed in NATO briefings.

🪖 Lossie Phantoms 0 – 2 Zero Tolerance (1-8, 0-8)

The Army team came out with all the mercy of a ballistic missile. The Phantoms managed a solitary goal before being vaporised in two unrelenting halves of what can only be described as military-grade bullying.

☁️ Lossie Phantoms 0 – 2 RAF Storm Shadows (0-11, 1-10)

There’s getting beat, and then there’s being erased from existence. The Storm Shadows — tournament favourites and apparent fans of gratuitous violence — racked up 21 goals across two legs. The Phantoms got one. They’re still emotionally recovering from that one.

🩷 Lossie Phantoms 2 – 0 UVG Girls Club (2-0, 2-0)

A win! A real win! Somewhere between trauma and turbo boosts, the Phantoms remembered they were, in fact, licensed Rocket League professionals. Clean sheets. Controlled chaos. Actual cohesion. Rumours swirled that Lucas Codd may have been seen smiling from afar, possibly sensing the Force.

♻️ Lossie Phantoms 0 – 2 Resurgence (0-1, 0-1)

Two games. Two goals. None of them ours. But the Phantoms kept it tight — a tactical chess match if chess involved flipping cars and explosive own goals. Still, closer than most, and an oddly respectable pair of losses.

🌪️ Lossie Phantoms 0 – 2 RAF Tempests (0-4, 0-6)

The skies turned grey, and so did morale. The Phantoms faced the Tempests with courage, unfortunately leaving strategy at the door. There was a goal-line clearance attempt that doubled as performance art. The Phantoms now trail their RAF cousins 0-4 across tournaments. Tradition is tradition.

🦅 Lossie Phantoms 0 – 2 Sparrowhawks (1-6, 3-5)

This one had everything: drama, goals, and THE SAVE. Flying Officer Cherry hurled himself across the map to pull off what a live-stream commentator instantly immortalised with:

“Cherry could save the Titanic!”

It didn’t save the match. It didn’t even save the moment. But it did save the Phantoms’ honour. For a brief, glorious second, we were legends.

🐓 Lossie Phantoms 3 – 0 Gamebred (3-1, 4-3, 3-1)

And then the chaos. The Phantoms only needed two games to win — so naturally, they played three. No one knows why. Maybe no one asked. But they won all three, playing with joy, flair, and a reckless disregard for structure. Gamebred were simply... bred for a different game.

💜 Haunted by the scoreboard, powered by something stranger: belief.

Despite it all — the scorelines, the spreadsheets, the spiritual injuries — the Phantoms return home full of grit and inexplicable optimism. As ever:

Because if Rocket League has taught us anything, it’s that heart counts for more than goal difference.

👻 The Mighty Phantoms

🛡️ AS1(T) Ryan Beesla (@beeslaryan)
🛡️ AS1(T) Anthony Kariuki (@Karis808)
🛡️ FO Alexander Cherry (@AeyCee)